early christmas eve morning, i arrived at my mother's house with lots and lots of gifts, a santa-claus-worthy bag full of laundry, and one hell of a starbucks buzz. my sister (who flew in with my niece all the way from las vegas!) and cousin were eating breakfast at the kitchen table. they got up and i hugged them, then breathed for the first time in a couple weeks. i tiptoed into the guest room where my perfect, genius two-year old niece was sleeping off her jet lag.
"hi, sydney," i whispered, "auntie loves you so much." she mumbled something and turned over. i almost cried.
the next day, my father, brother, sister-in-law, and baby niece arrived. we had an old-fashioned coller family christmas, full of lots of food and presents and weird goodness. at one point, i was in the kitchen doing the dishes, and the rest of the family was in the living room. laugher erupted. my niece then came running into the kitchen.
"auntie?" she asked.
"yes, baby?"
"everybody's crazy," she said.
"i know, sweetie," i said, "i know."
thus ends the sweet and charming part of this week. sorry.
after a wonderful few days with the family, my mom and i brought my sister and niece to the airport yesterday. then we went to a doctor's appointment, where i talked my way out of having to have a blood transfusion, and into the easier procrit shot. i guess that i'm quite seriously anemic these days.
and today, i went to boston. you all know how these stories end. frustration and indecision. again.
the good news is that the spot in my lung that was cancerous is now in remission. the bad news is that there is a new spot of activity underneath it.
i know. it sucks. i'm furious.
but there is a chance, and the impression that i'm getting is that it's about 50/50, that the activity is an infection or some other non-cancerous thing. so the plan? you guessed it. hurry up and wait. two weeks of antibiotics, and two weeks of rest, then another scan. a month to wait! arrrgh!
i did yell at the doctors in boston, and hopefully scared them into doing less pussyfoooting around with me. (emphasis on pussy there...)
anyways, that's what's going on. it sucks, but i'll deal, because i always do. but i'm lucky, very lucky to have a great family and group of friends to yell to and cry with and such.
i'm banking on 2006 being a good year. or at least an improvement on 2005. i mean, come on- it has to be.
