Andrea Coller's Blog
Monday, September 20, 2004

as long as i can remember, i always have. no, really. i remember very distinctly refusing to open a present that i knew was the 'american girl' doll that i had always wanted. it took my mom a couple of days to get me to open it and say thank you. and i did it just to make her stop feeling bad about having this strange-ass child who hated her birthday. and as i've grown into adulthood, it's just seemed as though each one just gets more and more craptastic. not even just cause of self-loathing. i woke up in a fairly good disposition, but by the time i got to work, i had already lost my keys, fallen down, drawn blood, ripped the only jeans that i truly have ever loved, and spilled coffee all over myself and the floor.

i can't help but take this as a bad sign.

i feel like all i ever do on my blog anymore is whine. i apologize for that. i remember the great days of yore where i witfully observed life and wrote heartfelt, meaningful things about recovery and forgiveness and such. now all i do is bitch. a thousand apologies. it's like i have one friend who is a therapist, and he ends up asking questions about 'what's wrong,' cause it's his occupation and all, so i feel like all i ever do is bitch to him. i catch myself doing it and i'm like, "hey, as long as we're working here, you want a haircut?" but i am sorry.

i promise to catch up more with y'all when i don't feel like playing in traffic. (again.)
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